Ground hogs

I’ve decided that Ground Hogs are the party crashers of the animal world. Two singular events that took place this week will serve to illustrate my point.

My bride and I took a mini-vacation (without kids) this past week down in the southern part of our state. We were enjoying a wonderful lunch and having great conversation with actual complete sentences and developed dialogue. Parents will understand the thought behind this. Anyway, outside of our window seat, we could see the Ohio River and a large section  of river front that graces Madison, Indiana. Very pretty sight. There was a large grassy area right in the middle of it that was completely empty of any people or anything else for that matter. Right smack in the center of this area (about 1 acre or so) was two full grown ground hogs doing whatever it is ground hogs do. They seemed to own the entire place and acted like it too. Not one person set foot on that little patch of ground while they were there. I had the impression that if anybody tried to walk on that patch, they would get the bum’s rush (or should I say hog’s rush).  Well, they rooted around there for awhile until they got bored and went back into the tree line. Once they left, people were free to move about again. I’ll bet those ground hogs had reservations.

The other ground hog encounter took place just today. I was not there for the event but my wife and her girlfriend were. The two of them had gone to lap-swim at the city pool. There was only a few people there. It seems that  a ground hog got into the pool area and had found himself a nice place to nap.  One of the lifeguards spotted him and decided that, being as how he had not paid admission, he would have to leave. A disagreement ensued and the ground hog took off in a frantic search for an exit. Picture, if you will, one lifeguard with a bucket and another with a stick of some sort, both in hot pursuit of the hapless interloper. They went back and forth from one end of the pool to the other. My wife and her friend watched from the pool as the lifeguards looked more like the Keystone Kops than guardians of the water.

Well, by and by, Mr. ground hog found his exit and left. Things returned back to normal pretty quick I am told. You know, he probably didn’t call ahead. Maybe he ought to talk to those two Madison ground hogs.


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