I have two printers. Neither of them work. I have reloaded the drivers multiple times. I’ve plugged and unplugged. I’ve moved them, shaken them, and even TALKED to them. I finally showed them my hand grenade. I DO have a hand grenade. It’s fake but, they don’t know that. I’ve begged and pleaded to absolutely no avail.
What makes this so bad is I have an hour presentation to do soon and need to print it. I can’t do that because THESE TWO IDIOT printers are not cooperating!!! I just got through having my geek go through my desktop and it is running smoothly. It knows about the grenade but, more importantly, it saw what I did to its predecessor. It would not dare to fail in its duty.
Printers, though, are an entirely different matter. They are kind of like dealing with the federal government. They make a lot of noises and even more promises but, in the end, can’t accomplish squat. So, what to do? Beats me.
I sent a text message to one of my kids. He never responded. He must have uncooperative printers too. I just turned the currently plugged in printer on. It’s making a lot of noises and sending several messages about what it is doing or going to do. Oh! It is actually going to print something this time! It’s probably a threat that, if I don’t leave it alone, it will do something terrible. Let’s see what it says….it’s copying multiple pages. They are all blank. Well, wait a minute. Now it decides to print a page. This one appears to be one of those alignment pages but this one is not quite complete. I am going to go bald over this. Oh, too late.
This is one of those frustrations in life that can, and often do, rob one of any sense of decency and bring out in the best of us the evilest impulses. It is indeed a fortunate thing that these two “things” are inanimate objects otherwise I might possibly wind up in jail as a result of what I am contemplating doing to them.
Oh, wait. I think one of them heard me. It’s making noises. Well, what do you know? The dang this is printing my report. What a wonderful machine! I knew it could do it. You just have to be nice to them. Somehow, I think it has been playing me. Well, it worked.