I was at the bank the other day and the subject of man bags came up. Leslie the teller made the outrageous prediction that they are here to stay. She went on further to claim that their universal use was inevitable. It was a preposterous claim and I said so. Nichole (the other teller) joined Leslie in agreement on this position. I assured them that, at no time would I ever be observed carrying anything resembling what is commonly called a European man bag. In fact, I opined, man bags in America will go down as a complete and utter flop. I added that I would structure my Last Will and Testament to insure that my offspring and, indeed, all of my future male descendants would adhere to my prohibition against such an article. Leslie and Nichole uniformly dismissed my arguments. In fear of having zeros deducted from my account, I left.
Since then, I have given considerable thought to my anti man-bag policy. I remain adamant in my opposition and here’s why. Think for a minute what the purpose of a man bag is. It is supposed to carry all the stuff that a guy would need through the course of a day. Let me state that those bags whose designed purpose is to carry a laptop and/ or equipment to do one’s job does not meet the qualifications of a man bag. A man bag has a strap that allows the “gentleman” to carry said bag as a woman would a purse. In fact, these abominable creations look very much like a woman’s purse. They probably are women’s purses that have been re-marketed for men. Bah!
So, I ask this question. Besides a laptop computer, what could a man possible have to carry that requires such an article? On my daily rounds, I carry a cell phone, wallet, keys, and enough money for coffee and a donut. All that stuff will fit neatly in my pockets so please tell me, where and how would I have use of a man bag? Is it possible that the new generation of men will be expected to carry things of which I am unaware? In my wildest imaginations, I cannot think of needing anything beyond what I have already stated. I do not know any man personally who carries and uses make-up for example. It’s possible that there is somebody out there but I don’t know them nor do I wish to.
No, my dear Leslie and Nichole, man-bags are not inevitable as you claim. Time will show that I am right.