The wife has always been in the habit of finding indoor projects for me during the winter months. She announced the newest project at dinner one night and my heart sank to my feet. She would like to have the master bedroom painted. As it happens, we are empty nesters now so I no longer have two sons and a daughter around to do my work for me. It is a new burden since my third born left for college not long ago. I have to wash my own car, mow the grass, and even clean out the cat box. When my dear bride of thirty plus years announced this new project, I knew what was in store for my next few weekends.
I thought about going on an extended business trip or maybe even a short term mission trip. I thought if I could be gone for a week or two, maybe her desire to change colors in the bedroom would subside and I would be off the hook. She already had my calendar for the next month so that plan would not work. My next idea was to announce that I needed to focus all of my attention on the book that I am revising so just would not have the time to do any projects. “Sorry sweetie. I wish I could but I just have to have this book done sooner than later.” I tried to sound as empathetic as I could. She looked me dead in the eye and said, “You have not touched that book in a month. What makes me think you will immerse yourself on that?” I tried to explain that a writer is not always writing when he’s writing. That excuse didn’t pan out too well.
Lucky for me it took her two weeks to figure out what color she wanted to use. It was a good selection if I say so myself. That did not allay the realization that I would be doing the bulk of the work. I spent the next few days steeling myself for the “changing of the colors.”
Our bedroom has cathedral ceilings and has a six inch wide paper border left by the previous owner. That had to come off the wife decided. You know, those things don’t come off too easily. Being as how I did not want my dear bride that high up a ladder, it was left to me to do that part of the job. My workload had doubled. We also have a lot of turns and angles in our ceiling, all of which had to be prepared and painted. I thought about running away to another state and hiding until she abandoned the project. It was sound logic to me. There are politicians in the Indiana and Michigan Houses of Representatives that had done it to dodge their jobs. Why couldn’t I? I abandoned the idea after a bit in the realization that I cannot afford to hide out in a hotel.
By and by, the project was finished. It does look pretty good, if I do say so myself. The only problem with a finished project is there is the inevitable “next project.”