“Things” at the Pharmacy

                  I was standing in line at the pharmacy the other day. Having much experience standing in lines from my days in the Army, I am adept at examining the little things that surround us in the routine of life. Such was the case this time as I waited on a lady who seemed to be purchasing enough medicine to combat the bubonic plague. Herewith are the conclusions of my observations.

                 I never knew they had so much stuff to sell at a pharmacy. I won’t spend a lot of time cataloging all of the pills, ointments, and I don’t know what all they have to aid you and I in our quest for a life blessed by good health. I have observed there are three general categories that pharmacies offer for sale. There is the over the counter stuff meant to chase off those maladies that make life hard but won’t kill a body. Then there are the pharmaceuticals that are kept under lock and key behind the druggist’s counter. These are the drugs that keep folks alive, I suspect. I don’t know, having never been inside a druggist’s cage. Then there is the third category. I never knew about this category though, at many drug stores, this selection stares at you right in the face from every angle. I spotted this group of wares on a long shelf that ran the length of the pharmacist’s counter AND it was locked in a glass case. In order to purchase any of these products, I assumed one would have to have one of the pharmacists come out of their room (they are locked in I am told) with key in hand. What was in this case that required such security measures as this but not enough to be locked in the pharmacy cell? Enquiring minds (mine) want to know. There are times that I wish I was not so curious.

                  An examination at one end of the cabinet revealed a variety of gauges and tools for use in managing various maladies such as diabetes and high blood pressure. I’m not sure why they felt the need to secure them under lock and key unless there is a hot market for pilfered blood pressure gauges and whatever it is they call the thing that does whatever it does with diabetes. I know the people that work at this particular establishment so am self-assured that they know what they are doing.

                  At the other end were various pills and potions for reducing one’s weight or stopping smoking. This was a sizeable group and I cannot imagine why anybody would lock these things up. Surely, those who are desperate enough to purchase a pill or powder or whatever to lose weight or quit smoking ought to have unfettered access. Again, I trust the people that work there and did not question their logic.

                 Then there was the stuff in the middle. It was the largest of the three product groups. How do I explain it? Hmmm…”Things.”  That’s it. These “things” are designed so married folks can get along better. I do imagine, though, that it would be pretty embarrassing for a fellow to ask one of the pharmacists to bring out the key because he and his wife aren’t getting along so good right now and he needs help to get out of the dog house. Why lock these things up and force embarrassment on their customer’s I want to know?

            On second thought, I don’t want to know.

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