Sneaky women

               (Previously published in the August 24th edition of the Franklin Township Informer)

               The other day, my wife and I had just finished supper and were sitting at the dinner table visiting. We are empty nesters now so our meals do not produce a lot of dirty dishes. We’ve taken to hand washing the dishes as it is easier and uses less water. We also get a chance to visit some more while I wash and she dries.

            This particular evening, my wife had gotten up to clear the dishes away and fill the sink up. Just as she started that process, the phone rang. It was our daughter. I spent a few minutes catching up with the doings in her life. By and by she asked to speak to her mother. I took the phone to my wife and found her just about ready to start doing the dishes. She asked me if I could “take over” the dishes while she had a “brief” talk with the daughter. Being the kind and oh so devoted husband that I am, I agreed to work on the dishes. The wife took the phone and went off to the next room. I should’ve known better….

            I took my place in front of the sink. There before me stood stacks and stacks of dishes, the number and size of which I had never seen before. It turns out that the dishes from breakfast, lunch, and now dinner had piled up until every dish, cup, plate, bowl, pot and frying pan in the house was dirty and now awaited my attention. I gave brief thought to using the dishwasher but decided against the idea because the sink was already full of hot water and soap (and I am a tightwad).

            I dug into the task and quickly found that the grease, grime, and who knows what all had fused with every item I took hold to clean. Such was the difficulty in getting these things into what would pass as clean, that I actually broke a sweat (not to mention the resultant dish pan hands). I also had to stop occasionally to dry stuff and put them away. It was an arduous task made more trying knowing that I was plowing ahead without any assistance whatsoever. I had, in fact, become a martyr to marital bliss.

            After what seemed like an eternity, I finished the last plate and put it away. I was drenched with sweat. Just as I put the dish towel on the rack to dry, the wife walked in. She had finished her nine hour “brief” phone call and was now ready to help. When she realized that I had finished on my own, she said, “Great! Now, I can relax.”

            You know, a lot of people say that women are sneaky. I think I agree with them….


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