Southern sayings and other stuff

                  I love southern euphemisms and phrases.  Some of them I have known since I was a “young un,” and some I have picked up over the years. I like them so much that I will use them when I am speaking to a group and am frequently motivated to post one or two on-line on a semi-regular basis.

                All of this comes with the constant and loud criticism of my eldest son. He did not have the advantage of growing up in the south (a.k.a. the Promised Land) so does not share my appreciation of the colorful southern way of saying stuff. Why, just today in the presence of my dear wife and his girlfriend (none of which have spent any amount of time down south) he lamented my announcement that I had found a whole new collection of sayings and phrases.

                In fear of its affect on his own name and reputation, he begged me to refrain from publishing what would no doubt be a long and embarrassing list of phrases and sayings that would be understood only by me and any other southerners that might be around (so he said). He concluded by reminding me that we live in the north now and it is high time I joined the rest of the family. I politely demurred and proceeded on with my project.

                So…in view of all of this, I herewith publish my ten most favorite southern phrases of all time. They will remain my favorite list until I find another.  Enjoy.

1. He runs faster than a scalded dawg
2. That’s hotter than donut grease
3. That’s about as handy as a back pocket on a shirt
4. He’s meaner than a striped snake.
5. That’s the greatest thing since sliced bread
6. She’s madder than a wet hen in a tote sack.
7. (Here’s a great southern pick up line, fellas!) Girl, you look so good I’m gonna take you home and sop you up with a biscuit.
8. It’s so dry the trees are bribing the dogs.
9. You’re lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut.
10. Bout as useful as a screen door on a submarine”

Nuff said…