The news

(Talking to myself) It sure has been a long day. Think I’ll sit down and watch the news and relax a bit before dinner.

            Hmmm. Somebody got shot over on the east end of town. The culprit is still loose too. Say! That’s not very far from me. Think I’d better make sure the doors are locked and my “little friend” is ready….  Glad I got that done. Think I’ll grab a drink on the way back to watch the news.

            Now what? The weather forecaster on the television is telling me there is a storm heading my way and it will be here in sixteen minutes. How do they know the exact time? O well. Better go make sure all the windows are shut and get the cars in the garage. Is the mail in yet? Now that the house is ready for a storm, I can get back to the news.

            Whaddya mean there’s been a yogurt recall? I’ve got three half eaten yogurt containers in the refrigerator! Sheesh, now I have to go check those. Won’t do us much good if they’re bad ones! We’ve already eaten from all three. The wife is looking a might poorly though. Better go check. They’re not part of the recall. Good. Back to the couch. My drink has gotten warm. Need more ice.

            A peanut butter shortage!! Really!! You know, you’d think in a country as great as ours, we’d have figured out how to keep the peanut butter coming. I’ll have to make a note to have the wife stock up on my favorite food. Now, where is my to-do list? Wait! I need the wife’s to-do list. It’s in the office.

            Good grief! Will this never end?! Now the newsman says there is a food poisoning outbreak right here in our neck of the woods and it is all caused by somebody selling bad soy sauce! Now I have to go check and make sure our soy sauce (do we even HAVE any?) is not tainted. Well, can’t seem to see any in the frig so I’m not going to worry about it. Back to the couch.

Less than five minutes later the wife comes downstairs and asks if I heard about the soy sauce recall. I had, I said, and I had already checked and we don’t have any soy sauce. With that, she goes right to the frig and pulls out a full bottle from the door shelf. Luckily, it is not tainted.

            Finally! Back to the couch. Maybe I can catch the last five minutes of the news. Now they remind me that I had better check and make sure the windows on my car are closed as the storm is only four minutes away. I rush to do that only to find that I had already put them in the garage. Back to the couch and what’s left of the news and my, yet again, warm drink. The news is over! Thank goodness. I’m exhausted.   


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