Food Babies

                The period lasting from Thanksgiving Day through Christmas and ending just after New Years is a special time of year. Family comes home. Great times together. Pretty much every family adds to their household as well in the form of multiple food babies.

                You know what a food baby is, don’t you? It is the result of a month and a half of vast amounts of food and drink consumed by just about everybody. Now, there are differences between a food baby and those regular babies and that’s what I will write about.

                For starters, food babies can be produced by a man or woman. In fact, some of the really large food babies are made with great pride by the men folk. They develop very quickly in the male of the species. The only action required to gain a food baby is eat. Men are good at that.

                The gestation period for a food baby can be anywhere from a couple of months to infinity. Some folks get so fond of their food babies that they carry them their entire lives. Those that do choose a lifelong relationship with their food babies tend to enlarge them at a frightening pace. There are folks out there that like to get rid of their food babies very January or so only to produce another one the following year.

                Unlike regular babies, food babies don’t require anything other than food. They are not picky about their diet either. They’ll take pretty much anything a body might want to shove done there. Regular babies are, at times, real picky as to what they will eat. They also have to be burped and cleaned up at regular intervals. Food babies only require the occasional burp and frequent ingestions of food.  Like real babies, food babies enjoy frequent naps. In fact, food babies do their best growing when napping.

                Food babies do not grow up to go to college or anything like that. The ones that do grow up tend to do things like mess with the owner’s cholesterol and blood pressure and require ever larger clothes to keep it warm and comfy. Gee, that sounds just like a regular baby. Girl babies are particularly adept at increasing blood pressure.

                You know, there really are not too many differences between regular babies and food babies. Neither of them tends to go away, they mess with one’s health, and cost a lot of money.