I’m rich!

I am amazed at the stuff that shows up in my email spam folder. Let’s have a look, shall we?

               Here is an email informing me that I have won the national lottery of a nation that I have never heard of. I stand to collect upwards of USD 85,000,000.00 and all I have to do is respond to this email and assure them that I won’t tell anybody because this is a “secret” lottery.

               After that, I see another email purporting to tell me that I am, as it turns out, the long lost heir to the throne of some Kingdom somewhere and I alone am allowed access to the crown jewels and its attendant riches. Out of concern for my personal safety, I must be silent about my new career and riches until arrangements can be made to transfer untold millions to my bank account. Just a quick replay to the addressee and the arrangements for my coronation can be made forthwith.

               In two emails, I have been elevated to sovereign of an unknown nation and been given riches beyond imagination! What could be next? Here’s one: I have won a new super sports car and would I please verify my identity so the sweepstakes company knows in whose name to put the car’s title?

               My spam file has somewhere around forty emails to sift through. What could possibly beat a title, gazillions of dollars, and a new sports car? Turns out, a bank president in another country needs my help moving USD 42,000,000.00 out of the country and he is willing to pay me a 10% commission if I will help him. I’ll bump him to 20%.

               Ok, so now, I am a King with a new car and USD 89,200,000.00 in cash. The remainder of my spam file offered medical treatments to heal any and all disease with the promise of eternal life if I just swallow this or use that. If I am going to live forever, I’ll need more money. There are thirty seven more emails to go through. That ought to be enough.