I didn’t know which was worse. Taking a bunch girls on to help us get rid of the bums and rats that stole our land or running away. My mom and dad would be matter than a striped snake (and striped snakes are ALWAYS made) if I took off. Besides, I wouldn’t get Mom’s pancakes and that, well, Mom made the best pancakes on the Panhandle. So…we decided to at least listen to the girls. Argh….
The following Saturday morning, we met with all of the neighborhood girls (somewhere north of six million it seemed) to see what cockamamie idea they had.
“You know, most of the boys are older than you all”, Gail began. “Yeh, and you know boys at that age like girls” she continued. “That’s disgusting.” Larry was all fired up against this idea. I told the fellows to hush up and hear them out.
Gail went on, “Given that they like girls and they have invited us to visit them at the fort they just built, we could go out there and visit with them and get them to take us to the Dairy Mart on Western Drive”. The Dairy Mart was a about three miles from the eastern edge of the field. (My brother and I worked there in high school). While they was at the Dairy Mart, we could sneak onto the field and fight them off when they returned. Margaret didn’t think they would be back. I have no idea why.
“Well,” I thought it might just work. We agreed to that plan. “Wait just a doggone minute” Gail was angry about something. “Don’t forgot our side of the deal. In exchange for luring them off the field, we get your entire collection of GI Joes© three day a week AND you all have to play foursquare with us twice a week.
There’s two problems with this plan 1) I mentioned earlier that GI Joe is a combat soldier and the first thing he’ll do is whip Ken. 2) The girls would be getting free ice cream which should be ok with the foursquare deal.
“Take it or leave it,” Margaret stood her ground. “You could bring us some ice cream” Stewie was a sucker for ice cream. “I’ll see what I can do,” Gail offered.
Afterward and back in Stewie’s backyard, we were no convinced. “I don’t think we got the best deal outta this”, Larry was madder than a red hen. “But I don’t see any other way.” We figured we had two hundred GI Joes among us and they would make short work of the three or four “Ken the weenie” dolls the girls had. There was, however, nothing for it.
NEXT WEEK: Feminine whiles